Everything Goes

Picture day is is coming up and there is talk amongst us fresh meat about our derby names (which I already have) and our persona. The chance to create who or what want to be in the derby world. This could be many a different things but what I have found is I just end up being me, who I am. I'm not worrying about watching my language or if my pants match my top or if my hair is done right or anything superficial something that outside of the derby has become increasingly hard for me. As I have grown and realised the judgemental nature of society being who I am is a mix of what is me and what is acceptable. Derby as far as looks are considered anything goes red socks with green shorts(orange shorts with red shirt lol) short shorts , long pants, skirts, panties, rips, face paint, no paint, rainbows, black, and of course glitter. I feel freed by the chance to express my glitter covered purple wearing bright colour loving self. A relief really to just put on what makes me happy say whats on my mind even if it is just for 2 hours a week. Derby goes against the norm the socially acceptable and gives opportunity to those who would normally not be given a second glance. Derby is a glance at what the world should be accepting of others  and working together for one common goal.

But don't get me wrong there are some issues but that's a different story.

Just beause no one wants to listen

Skating around the track brings me back to so many good memories of days spent at Rollerland trying to be cool. It reminds me of when i got my first pair of roller skates its all I wanted and asked for ever sure to my moms dismay. My mother being a single mom with little help I don't know how she managed to do it but for my 13th birthday I got them my roller skates I was so happy ecstatic as I was now part of an elite group of people how frequented who rollerland who had their own skates. My skates didn't look much like the others(boy) who had their own which resembled if I remember correctly something like a derby boot. Mine where white with pink laces and white wheels which were hard and even on the wood floor of the rink very slippery thus they were never used a sad thing now that I look back. Hence forth I will not let this be with my new skates I am going to use them till the boots wear holes and the grommets are gone and can hold no laces (even if I do have better new and shiny pair for actually using) I love my skates they represent more then just the non optional piece of equipment they are the cultivation of a dream from then and from now.

              

I was so sad when they closed those gates to skates

This pretty much what my first pair looked like

and now

Awesomeness

Another fresh meat practise down. Let me tell you this was one great night. First I learnt awesome things. I got to block people I also got to learn how to escape a block. It was so rad I felt almost like a real derby girl. Then there was all the senior skaters that came to help lots of them and this is great you get tons of help, you also get a chance to witness the eminence talent and skill these skaters possess  I mean it is crazy the things these people are capable of making there bodies do on skates. They jumped over people, turned backwards, swerved, weaved, and scariest of all they throw their selves down in front a pack of skaters with only 6 weeks experience, now that mite just be pure craziness but I'm down with that. Anyways the point of all this is just to say thanks to all the people who take the time to come and help teach me how to bang, skate, a force my body into derby submission. So greatly appreciated.

                                              p.s. Im related to this guy how awesome is that!!

Short Shorts make you faster!!!!!!!

I cant believe it! I almost did it the one thing I was dreading from the first thought of benchmarks 25 in 5 I did 24 3/4 in 5 that's almost 6 laps more then I did in my first try. This is big for me, kind of like a BIG light went off that said "DO IT!"  I did it myself I didn't have someone pushing me to the end.

I WAS THE PUSHER!!

 I wanted this so much after my laps I almost cried I was so proud of myself. A step for me in many ways maybe the first time I pushed for something completely for no other reason then me, myself and, I. Which is good because my family doesn't really see the greatness of this accomplishment and you know what I don't GIVE A FUCK!!! I love this I am taking control of myself my body, my mind, my well being and, I LOVE IT!! I see now when people sport slogans saying " Derby Saved My Life" because that is exactly what its doing.

 Shorts shorts made me feel faster but in the end it was all ME

Pusher

There are different types of pushers of course there are drug pushers, the push you to far pushers, the get you to the next step pushers and so on and so on. Today I had a lot of pushers.

First the Doctor hes a drug pusher he tells me I will have to take drugs, why for? Well its my thyroid jamming out on me completely on the fritz. When this happens you become a complete bag of shit SLOW shit a sore turd on a log what does this have to do with derby? Well its being a bag of shit that introduced me to the other pushers I had today.

The push me to the next step pusher. Surprisingly almost all the instructors are in some way this type of pusher. I like this pusher they keep me going teach me new stuff and always have words of encouragement. This pusher encourages you thru to the next step but still lets you do it on your own.

Pushy pushers. These type of pushers can be good and bad. Pushy pushers will sometimes make you want to punch their face and scream SHUT THE FUCK UP!! At the same time they are exactly what you need to make it. 

Example today just happened to be a crap day for me I could barely put one foot in front of the other in my shoes let alone in skates today. Today also happened to be the first time I would try my 25 in 5.
I tried and thanks to my pushy pusher I got 18in5 which considering how I felt today was ok. But I wouldn't have finished if it wasn't fro my pushy pusher. Yes I wanted to scream at but am grateful for because without I would have quit and I am not a quitter.

So in conclusion Pushers can be many things and today I am not a quitter.

PS half my tooth came out un related to derby but I will get it replaced with gold or glitter i think which will add to my derby decor

monday

I thought it was Tuesday today I was so excited to skate only to then realise its Monday no funday

The weighty issue

In my family there are 2 shapes one being very thin with no butt and everyone tells you to eat a sandwich wtf. then there is the other fat with no butt and belly to rival Santa's. Now growing up I was the thin no butt no boobs no caring what I ate or drank.

Now today I am the fat type with no butt and a fat back also I have these things called boobs that personally I dislike they get in the way they distract people from my face and what I am saying even women feel the draw to my huge crevasse. That's not even the worst of it when I go to the gym or am at fresh meat practice they sweat ALOT and I get this wonderful smile like mark of salt water on my shirt are you SERIOUS could they draw any more attention to themselves? 

This is where I would put a picture of my swoob smile put who takes pictures of that? NOT ME. So you get this instead lol

So anyways like I am sure your all saying "well if you don't like it do something about it!" well duh I'm not that special and in the name of derby I promise I will fit into a normal size bra again and eventually when i have earned it and I get to play in a bout I will be able to wear my booty shorts with pride and wont be slow!!! Ok !! So yea to me and the fact that I have not eaten any timbits today!!!

Also I have become intoxicated by the awesome not possum of everything Roller Derby (one word or two?)

Heavy

The fact is I'm FAT and it's slowing me down I feel heavy. That is all for now as I had awesome blogginess before that was deleted by my crap computer so untill bloggy genius happens again this will have to do.

Razor really didnt Wreak it!

After another fresh meat practice at the hands of Razor I was almost destroyed. my legs had lost all feeling and my whole face was the color of a perfectly ripe tomato. Now normally I would have quit long before I got to this point, and many others did. But I want this I need this, so with thoughts of jammer stars and pivot stripes I trudged on, barely managing to lift one foot after the other. From one end of the rink to the other I kept on legging behind the pack every time but it didn't matter I was doing it.
I was making strides, squatting, sliding, stepping I was doing it. I wasn't going to let any lack of breath or weakness of limbs stop me from  achieving my goal which went from getting through 12 weeks to getting through 2 hours.

In the end its was a swift kick in the face to the realization that this was going to be alot harder then just learning how to hit a bitch anywhere but the face.

The Start

After going thru copious amounts of information brain numbIng info on wheel deromiter boot type , pad protection, rules and hundreds of youtube videos. Finally it came my first Fresh Meat School of Derby session.

It is large class which I find slightly intimidating, strange how I have changed from days of thriving off the excitement of meeting new people, new chanlenges. I quietly listened to the instructors keeping to myself as time went by I started to grow more comfortable with myself and my skates even making a joke. I realized I am ready for this to challenge myself both metally and physically, to be a part of a team a sister hood a life style. Years I have waited for this day the right time when the kids were old enough when I finally didn't feel It selfish to do sOmething just for me. Where I can be me nOt mom nor wife or Aysha a place I could make my own identity. Thus Bitter Glitter is born.