The weighty issue

In my family there are 2 shapes one being very thin with no butt and everyone tells you to eat a sandwich wtf. then there is the other fat with no butt and belly to rival Santa's. Now growing up I was the thin no butt no boobs no caring what I ate or drank.

Now today I am the fat type with no butt and a fat back also I have these things called boobs that personally I dislike they get in the way they distract people from my face and what I am saying even women feel the draw to my huge crevasse. That's not even the worst of it when I go to the gym or am at fresh meat practice they sweat ALOT and I get this wonderful smile like mark of salt water on my shirt are you SERIOUS could they draw any more attention to themselves? 

This is where I would put a picture of my swoob smile put who takes pictures of that? NOT ME. So you get this instead lol

So anyways like I am sure your all saying "well if you don't like it do something about it!" well duh I'm not that special and in the name of derby I promise I will fit into a normal size bra again and eventually when i have earned it and I get to play in a bout I will be able to wear my booty shorts with pride and wont be slow!!! Ok !! So yea to me and the fact that I have not eaten any timbits today!!!

Also I have become intoxicated by the awesome not possum of everything Roller Derby (one word or two?)