1000 Pages Views!!!

How this blog get more page views now that I'm on LOA then when I was writing every week is just crazy. I believe this is from finally being recognised for my awesomeness and immortalised on a poster. And not just any poster, a poster for the most awesome sport on earth to advertise not only what has become the biggest weekend of derby in Alberta.

The picture was taken of my very first scrimmage after benchmarking (apart from league scrimmages) when I could barely stand let alone skate, and some how I thought it a good idea to skate along side people like LuLuDemon and against people like Giorgia W. Tush. If that's not crazy enough it was co-ed, so I had to not only try to stay upright on my skates I had to do it while not getting goated by 6 foot men or even more difficult 4 foot Tee Nee who like to turn around to see the fear on your face as blocks this shit out of you.

So all in all the poster has boosted my already too large ego and my almost readerless blog, and my family thinks I'm famous but thankfully not famous enough to start asking for money.

Okay so it's only a little portion of my head but it's there!

  You can PURCHASE tickets HERE it's a great weekend full of Derby and I cant go because this baby refuses to come, so you should go in my place and bring me back a shirt!!!

Derby For Life

I am fully and totally in Derby with drawl even though I can still watch games and help out my league its not the same as being a skating sweating functioning member of a team. I miss skating laps and even miss my not so fave coach. Worst of all I'm only 4 months pregnant which means I have on the best side at least 9 months before I will be back skating (this is a conservative estimate). Why so long? Well this is baby number 3, Yes 3! And I know that even thou I would like to imagine myself strapping on skates with baby 3 attached to my boob, I know this is unlikely. In reality I will be half dressed un showered smelling of puke. poop, sweat, and tears. Isn't it a nice picture? Hey don't judge I know what you derby girls smell like on your best day.

So all in all I miss Derby and I'm proud to say I do, it gives me comfort in knowing that it isn't some passing fad, Derby for Life.

HAHA and if you thought you were rid of me your not, tooo bad for you.

I worte about Derby!!

I have a new blog HERE where I wrote about derby. I'm going to be on LOA for a while if you want to keep up with whats going on with me you can follow my new blog HERE but be warned it wont be very derby related. Sorry.

Roses

My step daughters school does this thing its called a micro society every person has a job a place just like the real world but is run on things other then money they trade volunteer earn credits. This exists in the derby world as well, its own micro society. The problem with this is in the micro as each and every decision almost always always has a large ripple or wave extending to teams and leagues onto neighbouring leagues and so on.

When I started derby I had rose colored glasses everything was a perfectly bright shade of happy. Slowly or quickly sometimes the tint of the glass get scuffed and scratched and flakes. Leaving a your eyes bouncing between colorless and cheery.

I took on too much and gave too little. And that's what happens in life you get what you give and the same goes for derby. As much as its nice to be part of a micro society it is still governed by the laws of life.

So all in all I have learnt that to be better I have to give better and sometime that means letting go.

Hitting a plateau
After benchmarks and scrimmages a couple games. Ive plateaued where do you go from there still being a rookie but not satisfied with where I am and intimidated by the only next step my league has to offer Ive found my self in blah.

What do I do? Put my big girl panties on and suck it the F up. So here I go Monday's Bells practice.

LOA

I know  I have not posted in forever but I have recently become captain of the Nightshades among other things and have had next to no time to do anything else. I have much to write as great things have and are happening in my derby world right now and I will soon be making a few posts so keep an eye out.

Nightshades

I like Nightshades practises, I cant wait to be on the team that is all

Growing Pains

Fresh Rookie!
I'm a rookie but some how I don't find that properly describes the newness of my skills and experience in derby, some how stuck in limbo between fresh meat and rookies, Fresh Rookie. I don't have the best skills I need lots of practice on everything. I try my best to know my faults, I slow down your line, my arms flail and hit one of the best players in the face, I'm not speedy yet, I cant stop on a dime, I get confused in a pack and sometimes I let thru the wrong jammer but hey I'm learning.

The problem is that not everyone is accepting of my newness as I am and I can see that I am more a hazard to them then to others. I can see the frustration in their faces when they are asked to partner with me instead of their friend. Hey I don't necessarily want to partner with you but how will I learn other wise. I have a lot to learn trust me I know this and maybe you figure that I should be better then I am but you know what I'm trying. Up until yesterday I had never left a practise (not derby related) never sat out never gave up  95% of the time I am giving all of me learning to be a better player. I don't enjoy being the slowest or the clumsiest, I don't mean to cramp your style but we all have to start somewhere.

So this is what I ask let me try, teach me, be honest but be kind. Know that if you never let me make mistakes or try new things because your too concerned with winning this practice then I will never learn because like it or not losing and making mistakes is part of how people learn.  Give me a break or actually don't give me a break because I want to try everything, I may fail and need more time before I try again but I cant know unless you give me a chance. And maybe if you take a moment you might learn something from me I'm not sure what but you might.

Just so you know I go to practice to improve my skills not to prove them.  I will continue to try, to learn, to get better and like it or not one day you will be playing beside me and you can either be part of getting me there or not, either way I will get there! But for now I'm going to suck and I'm going to suck for a long while, I'm going to be a pain in the ass I'm going to ask lots of questions and will need things explained over and over and over, so get used to it because I'm not going anywhere.

Action Shots

First derby action shots are a treat. at first look all you see is vain, how your body looks what size it seems, and what exactly was your face doing.

At the second, third, and proceeding looks you see deeper looking into the picture not at it. Strategies come to life, faces turn into expressions of determination, and oh shit eyes. You see more then a rookie that just got knocked the fuck out you see them jumping up to catch the pack.

I have read more then one blog about the greatness of derby action shots and before seeing my own I cringed at the thought of being captured in my shitting in the woods pose. Then after many long hard looks I grew proud of my actions shots they no longer looked as if I was shitting in the woods, but a great derby stance.

So if you ever find your self looking at action shots and cringing try looking past the surface see into the picture and feel the moment, the adrenaline, the awesomeness of everything captured in that 4x6 freeze frame. Be grateful and say thank you to the people who are gracious enough to give you frozen moments in time whether they be good or bad be grateful, look back and learn from these.

Pictures Thanx to Richard Lowes I am forever grateful

Minty Fresh Scrimage

First scrimmage was in one word AWESOME.

Now it didn't start awesome, I was shaky, nervous it took me a few jams to get into it but once I did it was awesome. I knew stuff, I started to understand the plays and flow of the game. For the first time since I started in fresh meat I felt confident all the advice from days past had sunk in. My skills not the best were good enough that I could focus on strategy instead of where my skates where I had great teachers who had given me a solid base of skills.

Scrimmaging in my opinion is the best learning experience, not that what I learned in fresh meat wasn't useful it gave me everything, the skills to be able to skate some what steady hit accurately, stop, transition, and all that stuff but scrimmage gave me the chance to try out all my skills together in a more fluid motion using them all together, and in different combinations (or not so fluid motion lol).

Scrimmaging also gives you a chance to try new things or new positions. I played every position  blocker, pivot, jammer, and was surprised to find strengths is places I didn't know were there. I jammed and I admit I am not fast off the start but I can catch up pretty fast. I never imagined being a successful jammer but now I see with some work on starts, and laterals I could possibly jam to some success. I found my grove as pivot, leading the pack is comfortable, having no problem telling people what to do and having what I think is pretty good track awareness I feel pivot will always be my go to position.

After the clock ran out and all was said and done my team lost by I think about 30 points but we won in learning after playing against a team stacked with heavy hitters and skilled jammers, and also being much larger then us we held our own, and gained skills that can only be learned by getting the shit knocked out of you. I am proud to say I am now a rookie, and I love scrimmages.

Now league scrimmage is a whole other story.

If there was a postion it would be FIRST!!!

Recently it was questioned if I was putting roller derby before my kids. This question is absurd, of course I'm not putting derby before my kids. I am insulted at the fact that someone would even question or rate the position of which I hold my kids.

I love roller derby it makes me happy for many reasons I get to hit people and its allowed hell it's encouraged perfect for a sometime rage-aholic like me, I also get some exercise, adult conversation, and time away from my kids! That's right I said it I enjoy something partly because it doesn't involve my kids and I'm not ashamed to admit it!!!

All the Reasons derby makes me a better mom:
1. I get to release pent up energy, anger, profanity
2. Time away makes going home so much more enjoyable
3. Even if I was to go to every practise it would still only take up 8-10 hours a week
4. Increased energy, motivation, and satisfaction in everything

All the reasons derby makes my kids better kids:
1. They learn that sports are healthy part of life
2. They learn Independence from mom
3. They have gained valuable bonds with family
4. They have a greater appreciation for moms crazy dancing and strange bedtime stories

All in all this is how I feel after a combined time of  16 1/2 months of pregnancy 74 1/2 hours of
labour 18 months breastfeeding and 3+ years of almost complete devotion and mostly good decisions I am entitled to a little time to my self and in that time I am going to do derby.

Further more its delusional of any person to even think that my children can be placed on any type of scale there is no corresponding number, letter or symbol to place in conjunction with my kids. My love has no beginning, my love has no end, no top or bottom, my love won't end.

http://youtu.be/BQYAIeq5_FY


And just one more rant. When you spend hours pushing my kids out your vagina feel free to make decisions on how, and who with their time is best spent.

Lets try this again.

I am now a Benchmarked Skater. What that means is that I have passed a series of skill tests which assess whether I posses enough knowledge and control to not be a danger to myself and mostly to others. It also means I am now allowed to attend league practises along with all team practises if I wish.

Before attending my first league practise I said (after freshly benchmarking) that "I would really test myself and attend all practises in hopes of having a better chance of playing a game in the near future." HA. I retracted that statement. I am NOT ready to attend any team practises and surely not a bout, I am a DANGER!!! To myself, to others I grab peoples clothes, in the pack I can not stop in any less then 1/4 of the track length leading to stopping via. buster butt in the face, I am admittedly very elbows. I need practise lots of it!!

Like an elbow to the nose I am shocked into the facts that I am not ready for much. I need work, work on everything. I feel slightly un prepared for my new position as rookie. Now don't get me wrong I have learned lots in my days as fresh meat and the people who have helped me get this far I am truly grateful for but the fact of the matter is I still have lots to learn and the people that I thought I would now skate beside will still be skating in front or behind me yelling at me correcting my freshly learned skills.

I am a Rookie and that's Okay as long as I'm still something. I do miss having someone sign my attendance.

For All The Sparkle

Sometimes things seem to lose their sparkle. Then you start hitting and realise that the sparkle wasn't gone it had just settled, there all along just waiting to be stirred up by a little smashy smashy.

I haven't been keeping with this blog for a multitude of reasons but the ones related to derby are the fact that I had gotten a bit lost forgotten maybe what first brought me in the doors of the roller dome I couldn't remember why I wanted to skate in circles knee dropping and T-stopping 3 different ways in hope of satisfying the coaches concerns of me doing it correctly in order to benchmark. Why did I want to push my body and brain to do these things?

And then it happened Hitting! And mini Jamming! And practise Scrimmaging! Like a swift skate to the face the glitter of it all came back I WANT TO HIT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO HIT ME and then SMILE.

So I'm back , and like Ginger told me Zero to Fabulous at the speed of Glitter

Fresh Meat Hero

 Today is about giving credit where its due. This is about Malady she is for those who don't know the fresh meat coordinator. And I am so grateful for her today and many days since I joined roller derby but it wasn't until recently that I really understood and appreciated all the time and effort she has put into making me a successful skater and league member.  Malady has a million plus things she has committed to from having a family, home business, being a Nightshades member, board member among others and, yet some how she finds the drive to coordinate guest coaches, create lesson plans, rally senior skaters as helpers, all in order to help a group of people become awesome roller derbyers.

So I would just like to thank Malady for all that you have done and do still. All your effort and time is not un noticed i am so grateful to have this opportunity to be apart of Roller Derby it really has been a awesome experience, and without you I'm not sure if I would have stuck it out long enough to love it. You truly are what it means to BE derby.

 

picture thanx to theft from FB just one of the benifits of being my friend lol

Everything Goes

Picture day is is coming up and there is talk amongst us fresh meat about our derby names (which I already have) and our persona. The chance to create who or what want to be in the derby world. This could be many a different things but what I have found is I just end up being me, who I am. I'm not worrying about watching my language or if my pants match my top or if my hair is done right or anything superficial something that outside of the derby has become increasingly hard for me. As I have grown and realised the judgemental nature of society being who I am is a mix of what is me and what is acceptable. Derby as far as looks are considered anything goes red socks with green shorts(orange shorts with red shirt lol) short shorts , long pants, skirts, panties, rips, face paint, no paint, rainbows, black, and of course glitter. I feel freed by the chance to express my glitter covered purple wearing bright colour loving self. A relief really to just put on what makes me happy say whats on my mind even if it is just for 2 hours a week. Derby goes against the norm the socially acceptable and gives opportunity to those who would normally not be given a second glance. Derby is a glance at what the world should be accepting of others  and working together for one common goal.

But don't get me wrong there are some issues but that's a different story.

Just beause no one wants to listen

Skating around the track brings me back to so many good memories of days spent at Rollerland trying to be cool. It reminds me of when i got my first pair of roller skates its all I wanted and asked for ever sure to my moms dismay. My mother being a single mom with little help I don't know how she managed to do it but for my 13th birthday I got them my roller skates I was so happy ecstatic as I was now part of an elite group of people how frequented who rollerland who had their own skates. My skates didn't look much like the others(boy) who had their own which resembled if I remember correctly something like a derby boot. Mine where white with pink laces and white wheels which were hard and even on the wood floor of the rink very slippery thus they were never used a sad thing now that I look back. Hence forth I will not let this be with my new skates I am going to use them till the boots wear holes and the grommets are gone and can hold no laces (even if I do have better new and shiny pair for actually using) I love my skates they represent more then just the non optional piece of equipment they are the cultivation of a dream from then and from now.

              

I was so sad when they closed those gates to skates

This pretty much what my first pair looked like

and now

Awesomeness

Another fresh meat practise down. Let me tell you this was one great night. First I learnt awesome things. I got to block people I also got to learn how to escape a block. It was so rad I felt almost like a real derby girl. Then there was all the senior skaters that came to help lots of them and this is great you get tons of help, you also get a chance to witness the eminence talent and skill these skaters possess  I mean it is crazy the things these people are capable of making there bodies do on skates. They jumped over people, turned backwards, swerved, weaved, and scariest of all they throw their selves down in front a pack of skaters with only 6 weeks experience, now that mite just be pure craziness but I'm down with that. Anyways the point of all this is just to say thanks to all the people who take the time to come and help teach me how to bang, skate, a force my body into derby submission. So greatly appreciated.

                                              p.s. Im related to this guy how awesome is that!!

Short Shorts make you faster!!!!!!!

I cant believe it! I almost did it the one thing I was dreading from the first thought of benchmarks 25 in 5 I did 24 3/4 in 5 that's almost 6 laps more then I did in my first try. This is big for me, kind of like a BIG light went off that said "DO IT!"  I did it myself I didn't have someone pushing me to the end.

I WAS THE PUSHER!!

 I wanted this so much after my laps I almost cried I was so proud of myself. A step for me in many ways maybe the first time I pushed for something completely for no other reason then me, myself and, I. Which is good because my family doesn't really see the greatness of this accomplishment and you know what I don't GIVE A FUCK!!! I love this I am taking control of myself my body, my mind, my well being and, I LOVE IT!! I see now when people sport slogans saying " Derby Saved My Life" because that is exactly what its doing.

 Shorts shorts made me feel faster but in the end it was all ME

Pusher

There are different types of pushers of course there are drug pushers, the push you to far pushers, the get you to the next step pushers and so on and so on. Today I had a lot of pushers.

First the Doctor hes a drug pusher he tells me I will have to take drugs, why for? Well its my thyroid jamming out on me completely on the fritz. When this happens you become a complete bag of shit SLOW shit a sore turd on a log what does this have to do with derby? Well its being a bag of shit that introduced me to the other pushers I had today.

The push me to the next step pusher. Surprisingly almost all the instructors are in some way this type of pusher. I like this pusher they keep me going teach me new stuff and always have words of encouragement. This pusher encourages you thru to the next step but still lets you do it on your own.

Pushy pushers. These type of pushers can be good and bad. Pushy pushers will sometimes make you want to punch their face and scream SHUT THE FUCK UP!! At the same time they are exactly what you need to make it. 

Example today just happened to be a crap day for me I could barely put one foot in front of the other in my shoes let alone in skates today. Today also happened to be the first time I would try my 25 in 5.
I tried and thanks to my pushy pusher I got 18in5 which considering how I felt today was ok. But I wouldn't have finished if it wasn't fro my pushy pusher. Yes I wanted to scream at but am grateful for because without I would have quit and I am not a quitter.

So in conclusion Pushers can be many things and today I am not a quitter.

PS half my tooth came out un related to derby but I will get it replaced with gold or glitter i think which will add to my derby decor

monday

I thought it was Tuesday today I was so excited to skate only to then realise its Monday no funday